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Some Fat Pants
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+6.
We recommend he speaks in the third person.
Whenever he doesn't speak in the third person, he or she sacrifices Some Fat Pants. (If he or she doesn't know what third person is, he or she gets a dictionary.)
Legality
Vintage
Legacy
Modern
Pioneer
Historic
Standard

Duel Commander
Commander Multi
Illus. Phil Foglio